Oh, Steve Phillips, you nutty, birthmarked-on-your-crotch gigantic dummy, you.

Seriously? This is the girl you cheat with? The chubby, needy, crazy-eyed, always-the-bridesmaid-never-the-bride, way-beneath-your-league 22-year-old from your office?

In the immortal words of Chris Rock: “That tiger didn’t go crazy. That tiger went tiger.”

Translation: That crazy chick didn’t go crazy. That crazy chick went crazy chick.

Has Monica Lewinsky taught us nothing?