and this is basically a test as to whether I should update more frequently this way. Right now I’m in Newport over Labor Day, the sky is overcast and I’m finishing reading Louise Hay’s “The Power is Within You” because lately I’m all about the Louise Hay. She’s very uncool and I love her. Hey, did you know that I post status updates on Facebook like a 13 year old? It’s true! We should be friends. Last night I posted “Mandy is…a drinking town with a sailing problem.” Then I congratulated myself on my wit and humility and drifted off into deep slumber. Actually I had an insane dream where my bf said, “You got really drunk and high last night and called this guy I know and told him to dent this girl’s car.” That was the dream. That didn’t happen. And then I also had a dream that involved a llama and alternate ecosystem and “Law and Order.” It kind of sucked and was stressful. I’m hoping to dream that I’m flying again soon. Haven’t had one of those dreams in forever and whenever I do it means I’m ridiculously blissfully happy. See, this is why I’ve never written blog posts like this. For fear they descend into wank-wank. But wank-wank is fun. Wank-wank is the stuff of life. So quoth Shakespeare.
Gossip 411
ARE you a bitchy-witchy Blair or a sexy, stylish Serena? An evil, foppish Chuck or a studly, sporty Nate?
OMFG – you so totally wish.
Sadly, we can’t all be rich, gorgeous and scandal-plagued like the characters of CW’s “Gossip Girl.” But a bevy of young Hollywood stars, socialites and tabloid darlings can!
This is why The Post set out to uncover just who the real-life equivalents of those lovable, oversexed, hard-drinking kids really are. Sure, you could simply buy Season One (finally released on DVD!) to get you up to speed for Monday’s premiere. But this is bigger than that.
This is bigger than all of us.
Oh, and while we’re IDing people from the Gossip Girl parody
yes, it was “whose shit I respect” Rick Shapiro who called me an idiot a few years back when I didn’t get a drink with him right away and is partying it up with the Finkster in the second “Gossip Girl” parody. (He’s the older dude doing all the drugs with the half-retarded crackwhore Regina.)
Here’s what I wrote back in Jan. ‘07:
So from a brilliant but clearly insane performer whose shit I respect, I first receive on MySpace:
“youre hair looks like a hurricane seducing men to rip their shirts off and run into it standing tongues out tasting every wild flinging drop and the look in your eye -im dying to get it, to understand it”
Then when he calls me tonight but I say I’m too exhausted to get a drink, I receive this:
“YOU WERE COLD TO ME I FELT LIKE I WAS TALKING TO SOEM MORON HIGHSCHOOL IDIOT”
Then when I try to message him back some really hard-core Steinem actualized shit, I realize he’s blocked me. Which I think is a first. Which I’m kind of excited about. And here’s the irony. When I was at Virgin tonight to buy another CD, I ended up buying his as well. Support. The scene.
Oh, him. Funny video, though, yeah? Yeah. And my hair totally is like a hurricane. I think that’s something everyone can agree upon.
Oh yeah, and another thing?
Heather Fink, the Gossip Girl parody chick I just posted, was on Dr. Phil talking about Paul Janka a few months back.
I wrote about Paul Janka and then Gawker posted their first item about him. (Jezebel had written about him a few times earlier.)
Then he blew up on Gawker, including this item Heather gave about how he answered the door.
Then Heather and Paul did Dr. Phil, as you saw above.
I’m proud to have made this contribution to society.
Thank you. Good night.
Know what is hella funny?
Sara Benincasa and Heather Fink’s Gossip Girl video parodies. That’s what.
Quite possibly, the best email I have ever received in the history of email
from this woman who I wrote about at the top of my recent Playmate story (to wit: “For a truly frightening look into post-Playboy-life, check out the YouTube user who calls herself “playboyboobyhatch.”)
Keep reading, and see if she doesn’t become your personal hero, too.
Aloha,
Good ole Mandy, the “better than” (who?) entitled gossip-swinette
Hi NY POST—(For Mandy the A-hole), Mandy STADTMILLER… the little Nazi queen I’d like to see her face at at 62 –after her only child is dead, a 17 year marriage to a violent abuser, supporting herself and two husbands as an artist/painter for 25 f__ing years in a male dominated industry—and loosing 2 homes, to fire, and earthquake.
Besides which — Mandy’s hasn’t seen me naked at 62, nor I her. But I’m guessing she’s the pig she sounds like.
Thanks for your critic——–if you want someone to cut off an ear, or commit suicide!
It’s people like Mandy that live in Odiocracy, Thee Land-O-Genetically 99% Chimpanzees in heat. Good ole Mandy, the “better than” (who?), entitled gossip-swinette.
At least we have an appreciation for nature and people working hard toward saving the environment in the Hawaiian Islands…regardless of our sad but weird issues. Remember Mandy, you can tell your 20 something idols Paris & Britney that WE ALL DIE….and that includes you. You’ll remember this when you see your baggy face at 62, you sad pathetic guttersnipe.
I have weathered many storms, and deserve my aging…I am old and happy I made it thus far. I decided not to have surgery, like a stretched-out facelift hag.
(Giving Mandy The FINGER)…
Aloha,
The Bio-Bag-faced Lady
Karla (Conway) Sachi
Miss April 1966 -Playboy
