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Guns and roses really don’t belong together at all.

Lollipop

I donated $20 to Operation Thin Mint today because I am a sucker for 7-year-olds who get distracted mid-salespitch.

“The cookies, kiddo,” I said. “You’re selling me cookies. Stay on task.”

“Yeah!” she said. “The cookies!”

“So who do I make the check out to?”

“Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!”

Turns out—and hopefully this will save other people a lot of time—if you are purchasing from the Girl Scouts this year, checks can be made out to my sister.

Hey hey

Vitamin Water is a little too trendy for my tastes, but I’m an absolute sucker for Birth Control Quench.

My favorite flavor is Razzberry Red! What’s yours?

Can you hear me now

1) Me: “I feel a lot better when I don’t drink. More even-keeled, happier, productive.”

Father: “I don’t know. It’s all about balance. I find a drink when you get home really helps take the edge off.”

2) Me: “This chick told me she thought I was anorexic. Don’t worry, mom, I’m not.”

Mother: “Well, Jane Fonda was anorexic her whole life, and she’s a successful actress!”

3) Me: “Hey.”

Sister: “You haven’t written about me in a while. Also, are you a lesbian?”

All tenets are equally important and their arrangement do not indicate otherwise

From Stee:

Driving home from writing at a cafe just now I turned on the radio to hear your name. Turns out Tom Leykis here in LA was reading a story you wrote in the Post on Dinner Whores.

At one point he said something like, “Are you, Mandy? Mandy Stadtmiller. Are you one of those girls?”

(I won’t try to defend why I was listening to the show. There is no defense.)

Anyway, congratulations??